My Quest for Courage...

In the 1979 production of Manhattan, Isaac Davis, played by Woody Allen said:

“Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.” 

Those few words recently changed my perspective on Life, in general.

First of all, why courage? Why not confidence, or Education, or even Health?

And if you think about it, what is courage anyway? How do you define it? Is it taking risks? Or is it facing your fears? And do I really need to jump out of an airplane to prove I’m brave? No thank you, I like the view better from the surface.

But I can’t seem to get rid of the echoes in my head! Am I crazy? Or have I lost my mind? Or is it the absence of courage in my life that is causing all this stress?

I demand an answer, and I won’t leave until I earn it.

Will I be a working actor? Hopefully.

Will I be better at writing? Perhaps.

Will I pursue production instead? It’s possible.

It’s certainly hard to decide when you truly love it ALL. And even though I can’t determine my life in the future, I can direct it. And if ‘courage’ is the most important thing in life, I want to unlock its true meaning.

Is it quitting a secure job I’ve had for 8 years? Or is it leaving a happy home behind to ‘follow my dreams?’

It takes guts to do that. But I’m not the first one here, nor am I the last.

I believe that the biggest atrocity of all is to indoctrinate our children into a system that does not value their creative expression, nor encourage their unique abilities.

And as heartbreaking as it was to leave my mother, our eyes made their peace in difficulties, with anguished lips and salted cheeks, understanding that success is a staircase, not a doorway.

So I faced minor obstacles, and I accepted major criticism, but when I was ready for the next chapter, I seized the moment.

Moreover, I was driven to move to Los Angeles, California.  

Is that courage?

I cried when I arrived. I got scared. Overwhelmed.

It seemed like I traded a perfectly furnished bedroom with a king-sized bed, to an inflatable mattress. Minus the ‘inflate’. It’s more like a plastic carpet. Certainly, I can’t deny how blessed I am to still have a roof above my head.

Nonetheless, this city is far beyond magical. Happiness is around the corner; success is down the street. So I continue to push past the fear of not succeeding in life, because doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

I’m not your typical 23-year old girl. I’m the girl the guys call ‘dude.’ It hurts, I know. But I can’t help choosing a basketball court over a mall. I like to have fun, and a little competition never hurt anyone. Besides, whenever I do feel spontaneous and adventurous, my bank account reminds me to calm the hell down.

Life is too short to be serious all the time; therefore, I live mine professionally. I might as well mention that I am a workaholic. I got my first job right before my 15^th birthday, and shortly after; I had several part-time jobs. I finally put it all aside, and I realized that I am ready to start ‘working,’ and I thrive to do so with desire, and some humor. 

And just because opportunity hasn’t knocked at my door yet, it didn’t stop me from building a door. I played around with my camera and I made an amateur portfolio I called ‘TheNancyZone,’ where I’ve been teaching myself the crafts of productions. With social media taking over, I upload my files on Youtube and Instagram:

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheNancyZone

https://www.instagram.com/thenancyzone/

(Please feel free to view them).

           

Obviously, I wouldn’t be writing about it if I weren’t passionate about this industry. I say ‘industry’ because it takes crews of equal importance to create the art to entertain, and I would be honored to belong in any of its fields.

I’ve been staring at this blank page for over a year now: not because I can’t find the right words to say; It’s the fact that actions speak louder than words. I thought I made a huge mistake a few years ago when I agreed to major in Business and psychology. Sometime, I feel like I gave in because I lacked the courage to follow my dreams, but I will use my knowledge to make a difference in the world.

And since I am responsible for my choices, it is never too late to start over.

I don’t stress the ‘could haves.’ If it should have, it would have. Now that I am older, I see things differently, and it makes me appreciate the setbacks I’ve faced. I learned that I can rise above them and that’s how we’re meant to live our lives. When life knocks us down, it’s never too late to get back up. I might not have all the degrees to prove it, but I have a passion for this art.

And courage, is following my dreams, but also realizing that my dreams won’t work, unless I do! It’s allowing my dreams to be bigger than my fears, my actions louder than my words, and my faith stronger than my feelings. Risks make life worth living.

            And fortunately, I have great work ethics! 

Thank you for reading,

  

Nancy Habib